Re: Growing up with a narcissistic mother by been there done that ..... Narcissism/Sociopathy Survivors Forum
Date: 1/14/2008 11:35:13 AM ( 14 years ago ago)
Sorry for your loss.
My brother died 23 years ago. It was on my father's birthday and the suicide note was addressed to my mother (kinda makes a statement about the family, doesn't it?). The situation you spoke of is typical of a severely (if there is something such as "SEVERELY") dysfunctional family.
Two years ago, I outlived my whole family without a tear. So far, I survive by forgetting that there is a past (I ignore the past 51 years...or TRY to). I'm free now and my prison is that I have to ignore my past (my sanity has been redefined). It's strange, but in all the dreams I've had about my parents, I haven't expressed any resentment or hatred towards my parents (how can I?...I have no past, did they exist?). I would grieve for myself if it would accomplish something, but grieving doesn't change the past. In order to forget, I have to acknowledge that there is a past (it's a "no-win" situation). When I want to love them, all I have to do is remember the hell they put me in (it would be insanity to shed a tear). Grieving is like justice,...justice serves no practical purpose AFTER the fact (after the past, after the deeds have been done, there is no justice).
Free yourself now so that you don't feel obligated to grieve for them when the time comes. Become free, you don't owe them a tear, you never will. Even if you do shed tears for them, those tears will force you to remember and drive you insane (FORGET the past!).
Out of all humanity, the NPD (it only takes one to ruin a family) is the worst enemy of a family. There's nothing you can do except FORGET and be FREE (my new type of logic/sanity).
You are now a SURVIVOR. I also survive.
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