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Can't Slumber with My Husband - Think We're Headed for Separate Bedrooms - Advice? by anja ..... Womenís Forum

Date:   2/28/2008 9:50:15 PM ( 14 years ago ago)
Hits:   5,332

I am going crazy, I cannot get used to sleeping with my husband. Slumbering, that is. I think I'm a solitary sleeper and past being able to change. We've been living together for 3 1/2 years, and I've spent half of that time sleeping on the futon in my office/studio (the third bedroom). We have totally different sleeping habits, he likes to read before bed, leave the shades wide open, smack the snooze a thousand times. I got into the habit of watching TV and pretty much dozing off in front of the thing back in my roommate-apartment days, and since I'm such an insomniac (which is getting worse thanks to hormal changes, though Melatonin seems to help some), I'm inclined to stick with what works, but he will hear nothing of a TV in the bedroom, not an option. Reading at night just gives me a headache. I need the room dark and quiet, and the snooze alarm drives me nuts. I'm a super light sleeper, and even with ear plugs and a noise machine, any sound or movement out of him will rouse me wide awake or prevent me from getting to sleep. The only times I've slept reasonably well next to him is when I was either exhausted or took a sleeping pill, which I did in the past when we first moved in, trying to adjust, but is no longer an option, for obvious health reasons.

I can't get it out of my head that successful couples are supposed to sleep in the same bed, and there's something wrong with us (with me) if we don't, but I think we're headed for permanent separate bedrooms like some old, sexless couple! We're not kids, but certainly not done with the romance yet. It's a great relationship and there is no lack of love - sleeping in the same bed didn't end up meaning extra sex, we're on a different "schedule" with that, so from a practical standpoint it makes sense to just do what works and get better sleep, but somehow I feel like I've failed, that I'm missing out on an important bonding activity, and I'm really sad and frustrated about that. Not to mention I am not excited about having my office become my office/studio/bedroom and spending 90% of my time in this very small space (I work at home). It's packed to the brim between office stuff and jewelry studio crap, and not exactly a zen sort of space condusive to relaxtion.

Does ANYONE else have this issue? How do you handle it? Cuddlers, spooners and those of you who sleep like logs, please don't rub it in....

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