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HELP!! Friends-turned-lovers?! Plus, some free music for y'all! by docbonzai ..... Relationship Support Forum

Date:   8/16/2004 5:18:18 AM ( 18 years ago ago)
Hits:   1,990

Ahead of time, I apologize for the length of this question, but PLEASE help!!

I've been working on a piece of music for about 8 hours now and I need a break... but i realize that during my breaks, I seem to be thinking about an awkward situation I'm in, so I thought I'd ask you guys for advice, since the people on here have been so good to me (so far!).

I met a girl about a month ago in a very flirtatious situation, and she immediately asked me if I'd like to join her for drinks at a nearby bar. She shows up with a little present (!!) for me, though one more thoughtful than expensive (it was given to her for free, but I like thoughtful gifts). We were chatting at the bar and having a GREAT time, and suddenly she mentions her boyfriend! Well, I was a little confused, but continued since I has having a good time. She proceded to comment on how her relationship isn't going well, and it's a long distance one to boot. I figured this was a "window" (as we all know, not all women are faithful to their boyfriends). However, it didn't go anywhere, and not because I didn't try!

She continued to call me after that episode, and we went out and did things together that could have been classified dates to an onlooker, and she was always very flirtatious, even holding my hand at times! To add to the mystery, she would often mention she was proposing to her boyfriend that they see other people, then look directly at ME; she also mentioned that in any case, she's on the last straw with the guy and giving him a final chance to prove his worth. Now, I never buy that line, and you guys shouldn't either, but I will say that I know it's not going to work out between the two eventually for reasons that would take an additional essay to explain. You DON'T have to take my word for it, of course, but I'm usually quite aware of these things.

Anyhow, FINALLY I say on the phone one day, "you should drop everything else and date me!" You know what answer I got? She says "But I have a boyfriend!" in a very whiney voice. I let it all go and am still metting other women, so it's not like I'm obcessed, but I really like this girl...and not just because of the challenge!

I'm not sure what to do because there is chemistry between us, and it makes so much sense to hook up, but of course women are never logical. I continue to see her, when SHE calls, and she still acts the same way, suggestive of wanting me. She even brought up the subject, ambiguously and suggestively stating how friends make the best lovers, though I bitterly argued that that has never been the case for me, which it hasn't. Am I missing something? Most 'players' would suggest that all women want a man who is a challenge, and that this is what she seeks, thus BE one. But I think that I AM! I could sever communication with her even MORE, but what would that do?

Women, men, what does she want? And to the women who respond, do me a favor (please do not take offense to this): answer based on what you DO, and not by what you WANT! I know this sounds weird, but in my vast experience, women say they want one thing but they always DO something different (like WANTING a "nice" guy, but GOING FOR an "ass hole"). Don't hate me for saying this, but this is my objective observation.

Thanks SOOOOO much to anyone who can help, and thanks again to those who have helped me in the past. I will continue to do my sweeps of the forum to see if I have any insight into your issues.

Oh, and I always mention on here that I'm a composer, so here's something short that I did for a video game, for you guys.


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