The past few years are tough to recall since my mind has been in permanent fog. In the summer of 2010, I remember starting to feel out of it. My breakfast was composed of coffee and a cigarette. I was smoking large amounts of weed to try to get away from anxiety and Depression although smoking only brought out my insecurities but I kept doing it regardless. I have scoliosis, and have an abnormal body due to a prior surgery. I have always had tremendous anxiety due to my body image and would even wear sweaters in 100 degree heat to try and hide my protruding chest.

Anyways, one night in July, a friend and I were stopped by the police. We had just finished smoking, and the fear of us getting caught sent me into my first ever panic attack. It lasted a few hours and eventually went away but I then began to get panic attacks whenever I would smoke. I then was forced to quit and went through a scary stage of incredible mental and physical anxiety. Headaches, insomnia, and unexplained crying spells are just a few of the symptoms I can recall. I thought I was losing my mind.

This eventually went away, but I never returned to feeling normal. A few months later I was taking vicodin until the night which changed my life forever. I had been an insomniac as long as I can remember, and had taken a vicodin late at night. Vicodin would make me feel somewhat euphoric but could still not get away from feeling out of it when taking it until I got my second panic attack. Right before the anxiety attack hit me, I remember feeling my heart out of fear that it would stop. Ironically, I was researching Bruce Lee in hope of changing my lifestyle. I felt the panic attack come on and I ran to my bathroom and saw my face blushing. Shortly after, I was gasping for air and with my heart pounding, I ran outside.

After some deep breathing the panic attack was beginning to subside and I unwisely thought it'd be a good idea to smoke a cigarette to further calm me down. The panic attack returned with a vengeance and left my body weak with permanent heart palpitations and electrical jolts that were running through my body. I then went to lay in bed praying these terrifying symptoms would go away but upon waking up, they continued leaving me a prisoner in my own body.

I was supposed to go to college but my symptoms prevented me from doing so. I would heart my heart pounding in my ears and the electrical jolts felt like my heart would stop and restart leaving me with intense anxiety. I was also super light sensitive and which I am to this day just not to the same degree. The electrical jolts eventually surpassed, but my body is still quick to startle to the lightest noise which sends my heart pounding. I've also been dealing with a stuffy nose since the summer of 2010 which has not gone away. The worst symptom of all is the brain fog and memory loss. My mind is in a haze and I have trouble recalling the past two years. I can't believe I have been living like this for two years!

I have trouble feeling emotions and I'm still waiting for a refreshing night of sleep but instead I wake up more tired than when I went to bed. It feels like I'm constantly dreaming and my mind is overactive in my sleep although I can never recall anything that I dream if I'm even dreaming at all. My body temperature is usually at around 96. I'm always hungry and the only food that works well with my digestion are some fruits, although they never fill me up. I'm constipated and bloated and never empty my bowels fully unless I'm only eating fruit for a few days. I have muscle twitches, red, veiny eyes, brittle fingernails with vertical ridges, coated tongue, and I was losing hair although that has stopped.

I suffer from shortness of breath and even light exercise sends my heart pounding. It's hard to name every symptom with my current state of mind. I should also probably mention that in the two month period between the panic attacks I had overdosed on caffeine which left my mind blank and my heart beating at a very slow rate for a few hours. I felt extremely cold and weak and my brain shut down during that time. I should probably also mention that my body is very intolerant of any cold weather. My heart palpitations are still with me and there's time I can feel my heartbeat in my stomach or pulsating in my ears. My hands tremble and hands are always either cold or warm and clammy. It's been two years and I have yet to figure out exactly what happened to me. I've tried various diets and supplements with no success. I'll leave it at that for now. I'm hoping someone here can give me some insight as I'm desperate for answers.