altered state of consciousness 
playinbout
12 y
7,455
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I'll try to make this brief.
Since a small child, for as long as I can remember, I have always felt like I am inactively going through life. Like my mind is disconnected from my body and what I can see. I feel as if I am not fully conscious.
I've been visiting doctors since I was 13 and am now 22. With no luck. I know I don't have de-personalisation because that comes and goes. But for me, it's ALWAYS there and always has been.
I've tried:
-candida treatment (pointless but am desperate)
-thyroid hormone replacement (no luck)
-anti-depressants (felt worse)
-sleep study (all OK)
I've also had droopy eyes since a child, my eyes are half open and the visible part of the eye is very yellow, when I life my eyelid the rest of the eye is much whiter.
Some more unexplained symptoms:
-I am always tired, but I am also jittery and anxious.
-I NEVER stop thinking. I am always thinking about anything and everything.
-I always have constipation.
-Bad memory. I don't even recognise my family nor myself on the mirror sometimes.
-Acid Reflux.
-Black spots when looking at bright things.
-Tension between eyebrows.
-Heart hurts like a needle sometimes and I must take short shallow breaths in order for it to not hurt.
-Feels like a lump in my throat which is making it difficult to breathe.
-Scalp inflammation with many tender spots.
As so many people's situation on here.....no one has any answers.
But we can try to help each other. It's our only hope.
- Re: altered state of consciousness jamyang
12 y
6,299
MoreThis is a reply to # 2,092,865Have you done a parasite cleanse, were you wormed regularly as a child, did you grow up with animals or enjoying nature. You need to learn to meditate and still your mind. Plus worm yourself. Best wishes on your journey.
- Re: altered state of consciousness playinbout
12 y
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This is a reply to # 2,092,868No I have not done a parasite cleanse. Yes I grew up on a farm.
Thank you for your kindness Jamyang, but I've been fighting this for so long, that I feel my journey has come to an end.
I am 22 now and still don't know if I'm dreaming or not. - Re: altered state of consciousness jamyang
12 y
6,377
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This is a reply to # 2,092,868Part of dealing with this is staying strong. You gotta get a game plan on how you going to save yourself, I would start by working my self, addressing diet. Your answer is out there. I know your disassociated feeling. Investigate parasites, you have ticked al the boxes for someone who has a major parasite burden. Start researching.you have a precious human life don't waste it. Blessings. Get tough. You can do it.- Re: altered state of consciousness playinbout
12 y
6,448
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This is a reply to # 2,093,340Thank you very much for your encouraging words. I need it now more than ever.
- Re: altered state of consciousness playinbout
12 y
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- Re: altered state of consciousness playinbout
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- Re: altered state of consciousness Jo86
12 y
6,283
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This is a reply to # 2,092,865give me more symptoms.
How bad is the brainfog, do you feel depleted/exhausted, reaction to high/low temperatures/bright lights...etc..- Re: altered state of consciousness playinbout
12 y
6,516
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This is a reply to # 2,092,880The brain fog is permanent. Always has been. I've never known what its like to truly be alive. Like I said, I don't even recognise my own reflection.
Yes I am always exhausted. But also jittery/anxious.
When its warm, I feel like I will faint. My eyes almost close from fatigue and my stomach becomes very hot and irritant. I hate heat. I try to always sleep near a open window. I prefer low temperatures as I become more jittery and feel like I want to move around a little more.
I hate bright lights also. I see black floaters in my vision and my eyes hurt as well as finding it very difficult not to close my eyes completely when its a sunny day or bright.
All this has completely ruined my life. I just want to know what it feels like to be me. To be someone. A living breathing person. :'(((((((((((((((
- Re: altered state of consciousness Jo86
12 y
6,842
This is a reply to # 2,093,349Alright man,
it can be a number of things, and you've got to find out what, you can't just try treatments and see what happens.
- If you have trouble with heat, read up on HYPERthyroid. If you also seem to lose weight, be very sensitive to light, have heart palpitations.
- You have to get your cortisol checked out, because thyroid malfunction often goes hand in hand with ADRENAL GLANDS problems. The adrenals produce cortisol. Try ZRT labs if you can, and do a 4x during the day cortisol test you can send back to them for a report.
- do you feel like you're getting worse by the month (or by the day ?) or is it this sort of stagnant, consistent feeling ?
- adrenal function you cannot check through blood tests or conventional MD doctors. They will tell you your adrenals work totally, or you have Addison's disaease which is very severe. Nothing in between. Look up the symptoms of "adrenal fatigue", "adrenal exhaustion".
- could be toxic metals. Wasn't the case for me, but for some people it was - look up Nutritional Balancing, there's a forum dedicated to it here:
//www.curezone.org/forums/f.asp?f=501
- could possibly be autoimmune as well. Your body produces way too many anti-bodies. It's the case for me I've just learned. This you can test through blood. There is such a thing as "adrenal fatigue autoimmune disease".
- Candida (yeast overgrowth): look up the symptoms on google. Or parasites. Those are real causes, and candida is known to produce tremendous brain fog.
- intestinal flora. You can try "Doctor's Data" and their Stool Analysis test 3x. I can send you mine if you're interested, but it's a little costly. This will test for candida, good/bad bacteria in the gut, parasites, absorption/digestion.
I KNOW you've mentioned some of these things haven't worked (candida, thyroid) but I still put them there for clarity. You need to talk to some ND about this. Seriously friend, an MD most probably won't do crap for you.
You have a problem, and therefor must find out what it is and solve it - it may take some time, but must be done. Do it. Stay strong, and continue your journey.
- Re: altered state of consciousness playinbout
12 y
6,280
This is a reply to # 2,093,809Thank you for your detailed input. I'll address your points in order.
-ive read books on thyroid malfunction. Ive also done multiple thyroid blood tests, both public and provate tests. All OK. 6 days ago i saw an endicronologist who did not know why i have these symtoms.
-I've already had cortisol checked, which came back normal.
its constant, stagnant feeling. Its only gotten slightly worse over the years because I've become severely depressed due to all this.
-I've already researched adrenal function. But it does not fit my symptoms I've had these symptoms for as long as memory serves me.
-metal toxicity does not occur from such a young age (4 years old is earliest I remember and have pictures in which some of the symptoms can visibly be seen).
-ive done numerous thorough blood tests which would have detected an autoimmune disease. These tests tested for practically everything.
-ive completed a full candida treatment programme with FiveLac and other supplements. No change. Also candida would not have been so constant and persistent since such a young age.
-i took around 6 supplements which were also for colon cleanse, leaky gut, IBS as part of the candida treatment that I did.
I have talked to MD's and ND's. I've been doing my own research for years. I've had no choice but to simply try every possible treatment programme which relates to these symptoms as every doctor I have seen has told me they simply do not know and I should just accept it as its a part of who I am.
I have tried to stay strong for so long. But it is difficult to stay positive as I've never known any different other than this dissociation.
I try to trace back what could have happened to me as a kid, or a baby even, as that's when it started. But I just don't know what to do.
Its robbed me of my life.
- Re: altered state of consciousness playinbout
12 y
6,280
- Re: altered state of consciousness Jo86
12 y
6,842
- Re: altered state of consciousness playinbout
12 y
6,516
- Re: altered state of consciousness #173783
12 y
6,150
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This is a reply to # 2,092,865The suggestions in this thread are good, in my opinion.
It sounds to me like you have nutritonal deficiencies affecting your hormones, neurochemistry, and such. These may be caused or contributed to by diet and parasites. If it were me, I'd go 'paleo' (diet) and do a thorough parasite cleanse (either herbal or pharmaceutical - both work). You should also consider cleansing, generally.
Curezone is full of information on these topics.
Don't give up!
- Re: altered state of consciousness playinbout
12 y
6,259
MoreThis is a reply to # 2,093,902Yes there are many suggestions. Which I value very much. And I have followed advice from curezone, but I am still at square 1.
Ive really been trying not to give up for so many years. That's the reason I'm even on this site.
It just seems more and more impossible to achieve every day.- Re: altered state of consciousness #173783
12 y
6,245
This is a reply to # 2,093,966
I understand the feeling of wanting to give up. Many people who are chronically ill struggle with that..sometimes daily.
I also understand feeling like you're walking around in a fog and disconnected; when I was at my worst that's how I felt. They're kind of 'I'm here but I'm not really here and I know I'm not functioning at anywhere near my capacity' and 'going through the motions' type feelings? For me, these are directly related to inflammation and/or neurochemical dysregulation. Inflammation can be caused by diet or toxins (the body's reaction to toxins, specifically), generally. The neurochemical dysregulation can be caused by liver dysfunction, which is generally caused by diet and/or exposure to toxins.
That you grew up on a farm strongly suggests parasitosis, to me. Also, you mentioned that everything started around age 4. Was there some trauma or anything significant you can remember around then?
Either way (and I know it's hard), I strongly encourage you to consider diet modifications and parasite cleansing. Both were key to my recovery, and are implicated in most chronic illness.
Glad to help if I can.
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- Re: altered state of consciousness playinbout
12 y
6,146
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- Re: altered state of consciousness playinbout
12 y
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This is a reply to # 2,093,998I've also got 4 cysts. One large one on forearm and 3 on thighs.
Doctors told me they are harmless many times, but I've read on here that may not be the case.....?- Re: altered state of consciousness #173783
12 y
6,280
This is a reply to # 2,094,044
Yes, in my opinion, parasites could most definitely cause what you're experiencing. Tapeworm eggs/larvae can form subcutaneous cysts, too. That's called 'cysticercosis'.
Check out posts by ICU and scabdraggr for pharmaceutical solutions, and Barefoot/MH for a great herbal dewormer.
- Re: altered state of consciousness playinbout
12 y
6,186
This is a reply to # 2,094,072Yeah I've been reading all the relevant posts and articles.
But I still cannot see how parasites could have affected me from such a young age and given me symptoms like droopy eyes and fatigue and anxiety at that age. And for the symptoms to persist and stay constant for the 22 years that I have lived?
Anyway, I will try the parasite cleanse. Just so I can honestly say I gave it all I can and I really did try before giving up.
Thank you again for your input.
More
- Re: altered state of consciousness #173783
12 y
6,270
This is a reply to # 2,094,278
I couldn't believe that parasites were a significant cause of my problems, either, so I get it.
In fact, I resisted parasite cleansing for a long time because it simply didn't 'make sense' .. I'd had a stool test that was negative and just couldn't imagine how some 'worms' (that didn't show up on a test; how little I knew!) could change my neurochemistry so significantly - but they (more specifically, their consumption of micronutrients and production of toxins) do. I resisted until a doctor in Tijuana diagnosed me and outlined a treatment plan.
Parasites can infect anyone at any age, and, unless eliminated, can persist in the body forever once they've established themselves. I've had nearly all of the symptoms you've listed, and nearly all of them clear up immediately following an anti-parasite regimen.
Also, this may not be obvious, but parasites particularly affect those who are significantly above average in intelligence; they're more sensitive to changes in neurochemistry, their brains consume more energy, and their bodies require more nutrients (macro and micro) to produce that energy and regulate their neurochemistry. Any significant disruption in nutrient assimilation/processing, metabolism, energy production, etc. (which a parasite infection can cause) essentially throws a wrench into everything.
And, finally, it feels like you're saying (paraphrasing) 'I'll try the parasite cleanse so I can say I tried it' as if you're just going to 'give it a shot'. I imagine, having read curezone, that you realize it isn't something you just do once and that many have to 'fight' over a period of time before getting ahead of them, and I encourage you not to quit early. That said, if you try it and it doesn't help, it doesn't help.
Are you planning on trying pharmaceuticals or herbs, if I can ask? I've tried many, many herbal formulations and had some success - they do work - but now prefer pharmaceuticals for efficacy.
You're welcome.
- Re: altered state of consciousness playinbout
12 y
6,208
This is a reply to # 2,094,351It's interesting you mention intelligence. Because it is so very frustrating when you are sure you know, and feel a certain degree of intelligence within yourself, but cannot fully make use of your potential due to brain fog and exhaustion etc.
Well I've ended up working as a driver, for a car rental company. Mainly just to make enough money to pay for private doctors as my sole mission for so many years has been to win this war I'm fighting against myself.
After reading many posts and suggestions by the more seasoned users such as SCABDRAGGR and DARIUSHSWEDEN, I've concluded I will not bother with the herbal route and will go straight to pharmaceuticals.
I will give myself one last hard push and really give this a good go, considering the number of people on CZ who have advised me that this is indeed the cause of my symptoms.
My only concern is using products that were actually intended for animals.
Do you have any info regarding that?
- Re: altered state of consciousness #173783
12 y
6,385
This is a reply to # 2,094,576
I've used animal dewormers (Pyrantel Pamoate paste, Exodus, Safeguard (fenbendazole), Valbazen, Equimax, etc.) with good success and have no issue with them. They're basically the same product/drug in a paste or suspension. I was initially reluctant for the same reasons you are, most likely, but eventually accepted that the drugs were the same and that the risk was low, in any case.
I found that asking this question helped: would they give extremely expensive race horses (or any farm animal, or pet) a product that's likely to harm them? The answer, for me, was 'probably not'; there's nothing to gain by doing that.
- Re: altered state of consciousness playinbout
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This is a reply to # 2,094,967Well in any case, personally, its worth it to give it a go, even if there's a chance it may harm you.
I've ordered them last night.
How long ago did you take them and what were your results?
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