You can have it all but it does take some effort.

You are right about choosing your limitations before you are born... You choose your limitations. It is as simple as that. You can also choose another path. If you want to choose your mother and your career...manifest it. We do not have to quit growing because of some obstacle between us and our dreams. I have a dream of working with my biological father who I have only met a few times. I actually bought tickets to fly out to see him for a few days next week. I hope to draw up a business plan that will help him retire and launch my dreams but I have learned that the written word is important. If I do not write down a plan of action, it may never manifest. Write down your desires to fufill your dreams and take care of your mother. You can do both if you have a plan. Then, start filling in the blanks. I once upon a time dreamed of being a commercial pilot but then I started a family and my dream career did not seem so important to me any more. I tried a few times to go back and get my commercial license but I was working too many hours and not making enough money to get to the lessons. Family is important. I visit my brothers and sisters and even my cousins and nieces and nephews. I may not be landing in Paris tonight with a three day lay over but I still have family. Your mother & sister are important to you. If you make the bright lights, would you discard them? I still have wonderful memories of being a pilot even if I never made any money at it. I have not flown as a pilot in years but I still enjoy those memories.

Hey Cure-iousgeorge,

Its a tough one isnt it because you can never get that out of your system. It always comes back to haunt you, and each time it does it makes you feel a little sadder because, like you said, another year has passed.

First of all you have done the right thing by taking care of your parents. You won't regret being there for them and continuing to be there for your Mother - she's going to need you now more than ever. When she passes you will always have that - that you did that.

And so whats wrong with waiting a little longer to be in showbusiness? Not everyone made it when they were young - who says you have to be of a certain age? I take comfort in the stories of people who didnt have their careers made at 21, who had other lives before they came to be sucessful.
Is there anything you can be doing while you're with your Mother looking after her? Something local, something part time, something you don't have to devote every waking minute to? Maybe something that doesent film all the time...

Think outside the box - maybe things werent meant to happen in the conventional way for you?
While you're where you are, why not give lessons, be a teacher? Music, acting, dancing? It is a joy to pass on what you know, and always good to have on your resume ;)
Why not record your music at home, its very simply done with a PC and a good music software package, you can build it up over time to include all kinds of equipment, you can bring in musicians without the commitment of a band.

Is it the fame, and the recognition and the status thats really important to you, or is it the need to create, and to use your talents? It might be useful to identify exactly which aspect of it you have that burning desire for, and then concentrate on that - the results might surprise you.

I have struggled with this for a long time too.... strangely it all came crashing back into my thoughts yesterday evening when some old friends that I used to perform with showed me some footage of me performing at a show last year and it's stirred all of those emotions back up for me too.

My story (briefly so as not to bore you) is this; I'm a singer songwriter, and at the age of 14 or 15 started pursuing a career in the music industry. All was going well and I was writing prolifically, involved with bands and poised to take off, when I feel pregnant. I gave birth to my son just before I turned 19, and my music career was put on hold. Over the years various opportunities have presented themselves, some of them quite big, and I have had to let them go because my son was more important. I have always stayed involved in music, and sometimes I still write and sing and record and perform, but I am not free to commit to making it a career. Not yet anyway. This used to make me very sad and I often wondered 'what if....', but at the end of the day I know that I will always have the fact that I put my son first. I dont know if I could have lived with the guilt of neglecting him in favour of fame, or money, or celebrity or whatever.... everyone will be equal when we get to the other side - what you did for others will be more important than what you had. Thats what I think anyway.
Over the years my priorities have changed - now I'm back at college studying various therapies and healing modalities.

The desire is still in me though and I know it will never leave...
I have not given up on my dream, I fully believe that I will some day be able to grasp some of the opportunities... but I have had to work to come to terms with the fact that its going to have to happen a bit differently for me. And so maybe it will not happen for you the way that you thought it would, or were led to believe it should..... maybe theres something else you're meant to do first.

Don't lose hope. Its not easy, it makes you feel so sad sometimes and a little bitter too.... but attend to the important things first and you will really feel you've earned whatever comes later.

You remember 'It's A Wonderful Life'? Jimmy Stewart had his desire to leave his small town to follow his dreams, but Life was all around him and he answered the call of those who needed him. Until he ran into a crisis, he never knew what a difference he had made to others' lives. We all create ripples that affect others. You have been kind to your parents -- and to your nephew whom you have helped immensely. You have met Life, Curious George. Life is bigger than our own desires.

We all get to stand in the fork in the road and we have to choose. For your Mother to be able to place her hand on yours and know of your presence is no small thing for her; to know that she has support and kindness from her son. She has no one to be her protector and so it must be you. But, God is watching and you are growing in grace and strength; be accepting of your current situation as being the right thing for you to do at this time. You have no way of knowing the tremendous impact that you may have on another's life, just by being yourself.

While others' successes look great, they come with tremendous pressures and choices. The people in the spotlight may yearn for a quiet place of peace and calm, rather than the constant tumult that surrounds their popularity. They are challenged not to lose themselves in all of the hype that surrounds them.

Dreams can be lifelong; there is no set time frame for them to happen. Success comes to people at the right time in their lives; your time is not yet because you know in your heart that you cannot leave your Mother at this time. Perhaps the limelight is not for you on this trip and another path will open for you when you least expect it.

Take care; try not to look at what might have been (but may not have been) and focus on what you have now and how you can build on that.

fsnaturelady

Hi George,

I really feel for you. I am in a somewhat similar situation, so I can't give you any advice. I just wanted to let you know you are not alone in making these decisions. I hope it works out that somehow you get everything you want.

I am 43, and I FINALLY met the love of my life. Problem is, he lives in Canada on one coast, and I live in the US on the opposite coast. He wants me to marry him. For many reasons, I would be the one to move. My widowed mom lives with me. She is not sick, but has the usual small things wrong with her at age 79. I really want to go be with my love, but I feel obligated to my Mom. I don't think she would want to come, and I don't think my brother would care for her properly, he can't even care for himself, and I don't like her being alone. I am so ready to go, I have a job that I am miserable in, I see alot of unethical things, I won't last in it much longer. Plus I was always sick since I was a child, and just now I am feeling better. I am finally starting to be happy.

My boyfriend lives in a much nicer place than I do, and I would finally have someone to love and care for me and share life with. I've been alone soooo very long. Practically things would be so much easier, I could take classes for a new career.

My brother never had any family responsiblity, and I always did. Part of me feels it is my turn to be happy and finally have a life, and my mother can come or not, and my brother should finally do something for his family. I'm so torn, don't I ever deserve to be happy? I always took care of and finanically supported my family. My dad was very sick since I was young, and I was the breadwinner and had all the responsibility since I was young. Life just is not fair.

Exactly when do you stop living your life for others and finally get to have some happiness? Should I die alone and unloved when I could have been happy? I guess the only answer is do what your heart says, but I just can't figure things out.

Best wishes to you.

This will help more than you know. Get a packet of CD's of Dr. Wayne Dyer and listen to them over and again. It will help you see things differently and give you insights into manifesting your dreams. I wish I'd have had this tool 20 years ago.