Problem is

I have way too much character from self-sacrificing all my life. I was raised Catholic. I have nothing but character to show for it. I feel I have had enough, now I want a little reward, if not now in this life, then in heaven. Now is the time. I know I sound selfish, but heck, I am 43, I'm exhausted, when do I get to live? Never? Then let me go. I don't want to live the rest of my life alone and unhappy because that's whats best for my family. They all had their lives and gave no thought to me, now is my turn!