Re: need advice

Hey, you have broken wings baby.

It seems so dim - but you have put out that little twig and it is the first of your flags to wave. Ask, talk, think. Questioning your status is a very good first step.

Is your little one in pre-school yet? If so, can you take a class maybe? Even if it is a cooking class, no matter - just a way to be with other people, and just smile even once a day to yourself. You need to establish a little space where you can feel good about yourself. It will be just like taking a breath.

Then you will start to think of what you would like for yourself and for your little ones. Your husband may simply be exhausted, and disgusted by his life of work and no play. But - that does not mean that it is ok for you or the children to be in that environment.

Your husband may be a really good guy that lost his way somewhere, and you need to recuperate your self esteem, your soul, your being.

I would suggest speaking to your local church, they may have some programs for the kids to join, and they will help you or give you the name of a person or small group that may help you sort things out.

Within a few weeks though, you should have a plan to change the way things are. It sounds dismal, and unless you take steps to improve or change the situation, things will get sadder and worse.

Having your little ones should be a time of joy, a time of complete bliss. They will be grown and gone before your know it, and the pain that they live through: they take it with them. Doesn't that scare you? Please - think of yourself, and your babies. You are a beautiful being and so are your children.

Maybe, write your husband a letter letting him know how the things he says affect you, and give it to him when you are gone for a few hours with your kids. Let him digest the impact of taking his frustration out on you.

Maybe you can get some part time work and he can take a few hours off?

I wish I knew better words to say - I know you feel scared, and he is the "gatekeeper" but there is happiness that can be had. You must be strong.

Please keep on posting. There are many here that will have ideas and suggestions for you. Even if you do not take them, you may find that one little thing that will make a change. Open a bit of space, space to flutter your wings.

Blessings to you and yours,

MadArt (ist)