Re: Here's one for you Loquat and it's not satire unfortunately....

What do you call it when Jesus comes back for you?

What strange questions you ask dear sis. I can't help but wonder if this one arises from a confusion between the second coming itself (which has a variety of names in the NT - some of them semi-technical), and any one of it's many concommitants, such as the rapture of the living saints, resurrection of departed saints, general judgment, dissolution of the physical universe, etc etc. In that context, your question makes little sense. You need to be more specific about what you're really asking.

If you are not going to be here on earth, then where are you going to be? And if heaven is the answer...

I think you are referring to the so-called 'intermediate state' between death and resurrection. I believe the departed saints have a fully conscious existence and awareness of the presence of their Saviour, but their spirits remain 'unclothed' until they receive their resurrection bodies at the time of the second coming.  

then what do you call the change in the twinkling of an eye? Death?

What a bizarre notion. Where, in my 1,000+ posts, have I ever even remotely suggested such a thing? Is that how you understand 1 Cor. 15:50-55? No? Neither do I. It can only mean one thing - the transformation of our bodies that takes place when Jesus returns. For the departed, it's the resurrection. For the living, it's the rapture, for flesh and blood cannot inherit the Kingdom of God. 

Does any of that help?