Re: How should I handle this?

I know exactly what you're trying to say. My boyfriend reacts the same way when I bring something up. But you know what? A good percentage of the time, his reaction is in self-defense because he wasn't expecting to get called out on something like that.

Like I said, he probably doesn't want you to think less of him for having it. It's hard for people to fully understand why someone is comfortable with others doing something that they won't do themselves. Instead of understanding that, they think that you feel as though you're better than them because you don't do it. Does that make sense?

My man is the same...hard-headed.

So maybe he just doesn't want you to look down on him by knowing. You have to keep in mind that what people say isn't always what they're thinking. He might act like he's angry at you for snooping when he knows that it's probably true that you weren't, but he's going to want to try his best to stay on top and in charge in that situation. Just go with it because he's not as hardcore as he acts, and you know it. Even then, whether you were snooping or not, the fact remains the same, that you saw it and that's the issue you want to discuss.
Don't let him intimidate you and turn it around on you. You're not making him out to be the bad guy, so why should he try to make you the bad guy? There is no good/bad guy in the situation, you just want him to share everything with you is all.
self-gratification is a very personal subject and it takes a while for someone to be completely comfortable talking about it.

And maybe even loosen up a bit and try watching it. You might learn a few tricks...especially in the oral pleasure zone.