Re: Survival for non-BPD individuals

I appreciate your article but I do have a few comments on it. I agree w/ essentially everything you said but object to the use of the words "most" BPDs. BPD like any other illness or mental illness has levels of severity. It sounds as if you were dealing with a severe level BPD individual. Many people have BPD and cope and exist relatively well in life and w/ others. The lower the severity of the disorder, the more hopeful treatment can be. Additionally, as the BPD person ages, symptoms tend to decrease, in the LESS severe cases.

Let us also remember that BPD individuals are not born. They are created from childhood by being victimized by abuse themselves in most cases. BPD is simply a cluster of toxic personality characteristics that developed over time in order to assist the BPD person in the terrible situation they were in.

Additionally, BPD can be cured, in my opinion. I know people who were accurately diagnosed w/ BPD and now they are symptom free and do not fit the DSM criteria for diagnosis any longer.

A spiritual approach to BPD has worked for many people as well. I am not talking religion. I'm talking a REAL spiritual approach to developing the innerself and inner core personality. See http://www.laurapaxton.com for more information about this.

Let's discuss some positive characteristics of the BPD person. They tend to be exceptionally intelligent, creative, and passionate. They feel other people's emotions and feelings. They feel everything acutely. Some have called it emotional regulation disorder. Yes, they can go into fits of rage. I believe the way you described the "false face" that BPDs put on to appear normal as almost deceptive. These people learned to put on a happy face during horribly abusive situations in many cases. They don't put on the happy face to suck people in. It's a way to cover over the turmoil going on inside. I also disagree that most BPDs do nice things and show great concern for others as a facade. In fact, many BPDs are natural empaths and feel the pain of others acutely. Yes, BPDs tend toward manipulation and control of others, however redirected those skills are exceptionally useful in the field of marketing, advertising, and sales. Show the BPD the positive way these traits can be channeled. BPDs control because at one time they felt utterly helpless and left w/ no control. Their little minds decided never again would this happen, and they began to use manipulation and control tactics to get their needs met. EVERYONE has some of the traits and characteristics of BPD at different times in our lives. However, in the BPD individual the issue is pervasive over a long period of time.

It's no picnic living w/ a person who is BPD although many marriages do work out and are loving. Yes, living w/ a BPD individual is a roller coaster ride and if their level of severity is strong and they refused treatment, leaving may be the best choice for the non-BPD person.

Angel
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