Re: Fiance wants to go racing

Forget it, you mean, by letting him get back to this lifestyle he loves and exercise the patience of a saint, or forget HIM?


I am divided between feeling like a witch for preventing my future husband's dream or feeling like someone who is really worried about what kind of problems his decision will have for us.

I also worry about the danger involved. Just last year a veteran guy died to drag racing, the least dangerous of all. But when I mentioned the risk factor to my fiance he downplayed it, saying it is more dangerous to drive around the beltway here in DC.

Deep down I know he wants to be with the boys. He is that kind of guy. He's a man's man. He likes to be with me only to a certain extent. This is a way to get away from me, even though he told me I can come with him to all the races. That is good (if he said I couldn't come it would be a major red flag) but I know I will eventually get fed up with it.

I'll be damned if I do it, damned if I don't....lol

My dilemma is because this wedding is getting closer. I am not sure now it is a wise thing to do.

Part of my brain keeps telling me that I am the one who's being a selfish B is I ask him to not pursue his biggest passion, something he started doing when he was almost a kid, and something that he is very good at.

I think women who are married to pilots, war journalists, military and travelling salesmen are heroines.

Of course some of these women don't care about their mates anymore and want him away-so they can play, or they are too focused in their children (they live their children's lives-you see many mtohers like that) or in their own hobbies. They like to be alone. I like to be with my partner.

Is he just being selfish or is he going after his passion? Can someone be happy without their passion?