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Wow, Soulful...
fledgling Views: 30,766
Published: 16 years ago
This is a reply to # 860,154

Wow, Soulful...

What a story!

It is impossible to imagine how a person might carry on, after such an experience.

You say the program you saw suggested meetings between the perp and the victim?

Golly, wouldn't a person go through a whole list of emotions, before, during, and after attending?!

Maybe that's the whole point. Maybe the process accelerates their 'healing'...helps them grow beyond the event, to carry on...and perhaps helps prevent 'stuckedness'.

You say that the program said 'forgiveness' isn't necessary?

Well, that's a step forward, I think.

I find two thoughts about 'forgiveness'...

...1. The way the word has been used in our world, it sounds as though the victim is being asked to lie down and 'take' any abuse that perps care to dish out...forever...totally against any common sense. And that the perp gets away without having to take responsibility...getting benevolence in return for atrocity.

...2. Or, that in simply saying the word to oneself, even if you don't yet believe it, accelerates the victim's internal healing.

This seems weird, of course, but I've seen, felt, it work in lesser situations.

Somehow the chosen word echoes inside the body and mind, and creates the conditions of well-being, beyond all understanding. A person finds themselves better and better, without all the time-consuming, emotion-provoking, effort of 'thinking it out' and 'working it through'.

In weight management, for example, a picture of ones ideal pasted on the bathroom mirror, helps wonderfully. 'Visualization'.

And I have a sneaky suspicion that ALL the words and meanings that cross our minds have the effect of creating a reality.

Perhaps that's how perpetrators got the way they are...they entertained inappropriate words too often, particularly when they were vulnerable, and ended up skewed in their heads and lives...missing the warmth and inventivness we normally expect from our fellow beings.

I must admit I'd like to turn off the TV, just in case. And home-school my babes, to be careful. Or, to give little ones some armour, of some kind...likely the example of a happy homelife, if it can be managed.

You know, 'fixing' damage is so difficult and confusing, particularly for both the victim and perpetrator, themselves, that many people avoid the question like the plague.

Yet we watch crimes for 'entertainment'! Possibly we all want to know how to be safe. Still, it is sad to see products sold during stories of violence. It's as though advertisers are saying, "Now that we have your attention..."

The greatest tragedy, of course, is that our babies see it all, long before they have the cognitive function to choose.

You must have seen exceptional value in the program about meetings between victim and offender.

Do professionals counsel the participants beforehand...after? Is the meeting 'guided' in any way? What if one of the participants goes off their rocker...or refuses to give the input hoped for?

Could any victim benefit? Or, any perp?

What is the one thing, the best idea, of the concept that we need to know? Does one actually touch the heart of the other?

You seem excited by the ideas you saw. What did you see that gave you hope?

Could those ideas be used to prevent trouble, before the fact?

Forgive me for trying to pick your brain,'s just that we need to find the way...for everyone. Every hint counts.

My best,



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